Archive for the ‘Uncategorized’ Category

A resurrected writing, I came across—-

Things You Didn’t Know About Me & Didn’t Want To Know— That will be the title of my autobiography.
We’ll start at the beginning….Chapter 1: When I Was Little
1. When I was little….I used to try to leave the house in my nightgown b/c it was so beautiful surely people would think it was a dress.
2. I changed Hide & Seek to James Bond and when you found the person they were automatically killed.
3. I used to make my brother run around the backyard pretending to be my prized horse Black Beauty.
4. When my Mom and I would go to the store if we bought a bag of beans or rice I would carry it around like it was my baby.
5. I was to shy to say UNO so I would always lose.
That’s as far as I got

Do you ever question the food you order?? Maybe in your mind….but have you really actually questioned the food…..You never know there may be answers…..
Tonight I decided to question my Chicken Sandwich…Sam…..I asked for wheat bread and he was delivered on WHITE….already he has the look of shame. I tried to reassure him, but he oozed mayonnaise soaked tears….I suppose it didn’t help that before I decided to directly address the sandwich I ate his other half…..I didn’t catch her name, but her mayonnaise tears were shared.
So now left with just ‘Sam’…I wonder about his past b/c I have never questioned a sandwich. I asked him if he always thought of himself as a sandwich as a little ‘over looked lunchable’ perhaps…meant for better things.
Sam is @ a nice hotel brought to me by room service, but I can see how this also can be degrading because when they lift the top of the room service tray they turn and ask “Will This do?” as if it is a puppy that will be returned and shot if not good enough.
Of course, I accept ‘Ole Sam’ and then start looking at him inquisitively…It’s obvious he is miserable….I think he came that way before I ate the other half.
So I press on asking if he had hopes of his own…..did he see signs for ‘Relief Efforts’ and want to be a volunteer not thinking of himself, a loner, a rebel.
He won’t talk to my but the face of a sandwich says a 1,000 words and all of them insinuate a shrugging of the shoulders and the return question…Why am I HERE?!
Sam…..I don’t know why you are or why I am even here so let’s just call it a night…..
He looks even more sad when I put the chips all over him…..kind of like an eccentric Uncle that is like ‘Why Me?’
There is a tiny Salad on the side of the plate that is young is showing interest in Sam…..maybe by tomorrow he will be happy but in the morning, I will probably eat Sam, and thus break Salad’s heart….and then will have to ask other salad’s from now on what kind of romantic soul I destroyed.
See Most people over look these conversations….b/c they have had enough sleep and this is ridiculous, OH but NOT me…..
You can count on me to be stupid, and/ or ridiculous at ANY time…….

Ok…if you are a mom and you are on Facebook I realize that is a GREAT way to the let the World know how Adorable your children are….but let’s stick to some guidelines:

1. During pregnancy if you feel the need to photo your stomach every week please add a disclosure….b/c NOT everyone thinks pregnant bellies are awesome….they give me the heebie jeebies (IF I ever get pregnant TRUST ME I will feel the same way about myself)
2. When you go into Labor please don’t drag it out over a 2 page status update with all the details
3. Once you have ‘new baby’ you are permitted to go crazy with updates and baby pics for ONE month…then you have to start incorporating stuff OTHER people care about….or at least aren’t sick of hearing about or seeing
4. Don’t change your default photo to a picture of your baby (or babies)…..you are still you….you did not turn into ‘The Baby’….well you probably did…but let’s pretend you still are an individual
5. Eliminate Potty Training updates altogether….seriously….isn’t their ‘Group Therapy’ for that???
6. Don’t go with the flow…EVERYONE does First Day of School updates…..why not pick a random number out of a hat and update that day of school……Then everyone will notice your update
7. Only post FUNNY and ORIGINAL stuff your children do….even if you have to make it up…no one cares if your child found out he/she has buggers and thinks they taste good…EVERYONE’s child discovers that @ some point
8. Remember before you were a Mom…you were YOU…..and don’t forget that…..we want to hear what YOU are doing, sometimes, not always…..unless you are still really interesting and clever

Ok…I think that concludes today’s Rant…..

Luchadores Mexicanos

Posted: March 21, 2010 in random, Uncategorized

Reasons I should not pass up the next opportunity to buy a Mexican Wrestling Mask:
1. For when Solicitors come to the door
2. To scare Mr. DragonFly when he comes home from work
3. Taking Sasha on a walk around the neighborhood
4. Gardening
5. Dress Up– (duh!)
6. Who doesn’t need a Mexican Wrestling Mask?? You never know WHEN it may come in handy
7. Wrestling
8. Sunbathing
9. going to the ATM late @ night

Maybe more to come……….

Red Eye Alert

Posted: February 24, 2010 in HELP, household, Uncategorized, Unfortunate Events

As I have learned many times….the hard way……some innocently looking bottles of eye ‘solution’, ‘cleaner’, ‘re-wetting’, and ‘disinfecting’ drops……..can effect your eyes in many different ways, especially if you are just grabbing for any eye saving bottle of whatever in a matter of emergency.
Last week I had arrived from a LONG trip and Mr. DragonFly and I were going to dinner…….I was determined to NOT wear my glasses as I feel like a dork in them and save them only for emergencies, or extreme laziness…………
Anyway, my eyes were REALLY dry and I asked Mr. D if he had ‘re-wetting drops’…..he said no, but I was sure I saw a tiny bottle in my cabinet of the bathroom…….Ah Hah……Indeed I found said tiny bottle……How was to know it was actually poison??!! It looked like a re-wetting drop vile and so why would I feel the need to read further………..
Let me tell you why: The reason is is b/c this tiny vile of said ‘re-wetting’ drops was actually a “1 step to a daily protein remover’ and DEFINITELY NOT meant to be inserted directly into one’s eye.
Mr. DragonFly shook his head and acted as if I made a poor choice in assuming this was a ‘re-wetting vile’……..I responded by saying “How was I to know??……Really……the re-wetting bottle looks EXACTLY the same and it was in MY cabinet NOT yours”……..
Apparently this imposter was placed in ‘my’ cabinet by accident…………………
After realizing a partial mistake on his part— Mr. D further informed me to NOT put anything in my eye containing a red tip……This I found VERY useful information……………I had NO idea there was a warning or difference in color of ‘won’t make your eye hurt & water all night/ day” and ‘will make your eye feel better’
So all of you that are behind the times (I guess) and still wearing contacts and do not know this information I pass this VALUABLE information to you.
BEWARE:

OK:

White Tips= Safe Red Tips= Danger

British Ghosts!!! maybe???

Posted: February 24, 2010 in dreams, ghosts, random, Uncategorized

While I was in Stratford, England (staying @ Shakespeare Hotel) I had a dream that a ghost entered my room. I was extremely tired and fell right into a deep sleep. Almost right away I had a dream that I heard someone try a key in my door. This hotel was older and still used the actually turn keys. I could hear the person attempt to fit the key into the keyhole, but I figured that the key would not work and they would realize that they were at the wrong room. But the key did work and they entered the room.
My room had a sitting area and then you would duck your head thru a passage to the bedroom. I could feel them standing in the sitting area, but figured they would realize someone was in the room and decide to get another room. Even though I was sleeping and lying in bed I could see the person in the sitting area…..It was just an illuminated white figure. I was so tired I thought that I would just wait for them to leave, b/c I did not want to get up. Obviously I was not feeling negative feelings about this person in my room, but it was becoming unsettling- Especially when they ducked thru the passage and stood right at the edge of my bedroom. I thought at that point….Jeez maybe they do not see me b/c I have the covers pulled over my head (I like to bundle up while I sleep). I still was adamant about not wanting to wake up and still felt that they would leave on their own.
Next thing I knew I could feel someone sit down on the bed on the opposite side of where I was sleeping. I could see the illuminated white figure with shoulder length blond hair looking down on me….she had a pleasant face, but I was still very afraid by feeling someone on the bed and especially looking at me. Feeling them on the bed I immediately woke myself up and was never able to go back to sleep.

Even though I never felt negative feelings about the figure, it was still unsettling. I wonder if ghosts do exist and if there really was one in my room. If so I wonder how it is that they choose the people to visit. Do they have positive feelings towards you?? Could you ever become friends with a ghost?? I mean I can’t imagine myself laughing and carrying on a light hearted conversation with a ghost nor have I ever heard of it.

Dear Diary….

Posted: February 16, 2010 in random, Uncategorized, when I was a kid

So I have received many comments about my blog posts being written very ‘stream of consciousness’….
Apparently I have always written this way– Judging by these 2 pages out of my Diary (especially the one on the right) I wrote when I was 7…..
Also, I was 7….so let’s not get into the spelling issue…….
(obviously you may have to click on image to see it better)